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If Kate Næss is on the starting pontoon at the base of the Alexandre III bridge in Paris next year – eight years and two babies since she last competed at a Paralympic Games – she can trace her incredible achievement back to two of her most poignant life experiences.
Næss’ transformation from Para-equestrian to Paralympic triathlete came about after the devastating loss of her mother to breast cancer in 2010. Her return to elite level Para-triathlon can be attributed to her toddler son Henrik who, in a pivotal moment soon after his little sister Sofie arrived last October, showed his mother why competing again – in spite of the obstacles – was the right thing to do.
Two decisive moments, one provided by her mother, the other a result of being a mother.
“Mother’s Day is special for me,” said Næss, who married Jarle Næss in 2018. “It’s hard in some ways. If only my mum was around …
“Now, being a mum myself, I sometimes channel her, just trying to be the best version of myself and the best mother I can be.”
Næss’s mum set the example, but it was Henrik who demonstrated that competing in triathlon and being the best mother possible need not be conflicting aspirations.
“When Sofie was about two months old, we were at my dad’s apartment, which has a gym in the block,” Næss said.
“When I’d get a moment I’d go there and get in the pool and use the gym. One time Henrik came in and it was amazing, when I’d do some stretching he’d lie down next to me and start copying me. Then he wanted to get the therabands and get on the treadmill and in the pool.
“I really didn’t expect that, but it was a lightbulb moment for me. I realised it would be a good thing to get back into it and that it could work. I could see that pursuing what I love is actually the best role-modelling I can do.”
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Role modelling is important for Næss in part because she understands the impact her mother’s mindset had on her.
“What I learnt from mum’s experience was all about health and wellbeing. She was very much into natural medicines and really healthy food. She was also stubborn about the ways she accepted treatment for her cancer. As hard as that was for me to watch, I really respected her for that.
“The other side of it was that I saw how quickly our lives can switch regardless of what we do to stay healthy. Anything can happen and it instilled in me the idea to really appreciate what you have and make the most of it.”
Næss went through deep grief after she lost her mother. She had competed in Para-equestrian for many years and had been on the cusp of qualifying for the Paralympics, but her passion evaporated. She wanted to stay fit, however, and eventually re-connect socially. So she joined a local triathlon club and started training.
“I ended up making some good supportive friends, which I loved,” she said.
“I was taking any opportunity at that stage so I went into a Para-race, had fun, kept chipping away and before I knew it I was on the Rio campaign.
“It was just through that fear of thinking ‘Our lives could be over at any minute’. I was trying to seize every opportunity that came my way. My mum dying of breast cancer was a traumatic experience but it was actually the catalyst for me taking up triathlon.”
Næss placed fifth in the Women’s PT4 event at Rio 2016. She continued competing after Henrik’s birth and breast-fed her son while they toured the international circuit, building towards Tokyo 2020.
The plan was to compete in Tokyo and then retire. However, the postponement of those Games due to Covid and the desire to have a second baby led Næss to step away from the sport.
“I was not coming back after Tokyo,” she said. “I thought I’m getting too old for this and also, just those expectations of what mothers are and aren’t supposed to do.
“So much of your identity as a new parent is challenging. When Henrik was a baby I’d often think ‘If I’m not there 24/7, am I being a bad mother?’ When I’d go to race, I’d question whether I was doing the right thing.”
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Missing out on Tokyo was hard. But since that lightbulb moment when her son copied her in the gym, Næss has felt clear about aiming for Paris. She knows how she wants to parent, train and work. At this point she does one or two sessions a day, about 10 to 15 hours a week remotely with her coach Danielle Stefano and works two or three days a week as a consultant at Get Skilled Access.
“It’s a process and there are quite a few obstacles,” she said. “But it’s really about training smart and doing what works for me. Some days work really well, other days you just go with the flow.
“The biggest thing is just having a good mental approach. I know that by doing what I love it’s making me a better person and a better example for my children.”
By: David Sygall, Paralympics Australia
Posted: 12 May 2023
Images: Kate Næss and Delly Carr
